Introducing Benjamin: The first time I saw
Benjamin, he was crawling under the produce counter at the local market. Having found no treasures under the bin, he
randomly selected 3 papayas and experimented with the aerodynamic qualities of each. As one hurled past my shopping cart, I knew that
Benjamin was a challenge. His mother, two
isles over and preoccupied with cantaloupe, called for her son, “BENJAMINNNNNN!” He crawled on all fours, closing the distance
between hand grenade-papayas and Mom. Twenty minutes later I saw Benjamin again, this
time curled up on the bottom shelf in the chip isle. As I passed his mother she looked at me and rolled her eyes in disgust. She was undoubtedly frustrated and weary with her
son’s unruly behavior. But was he
unruly? Or, was he simply brilliant?
Looking
deeper: To the trained observer, Benjamin was a smart, creative child with an active imagination. Why did he select papayas instead of oranges? Was
it because on the last trip he experimented with oranges and deduced from the exercise
that spherical projectiles of any color, baseballs and oranges, follow the same
trajectory? But papayas, now there was a
challenging shape. Would the bottom-weighted
orb follow the same laws of physics? Now he
knew. And why did Benjamin build a fortress
out of boxes of chips? Why not from canned
goods on isle 6? Had he already learned that
redistributing eight-ounce cans of beans and sprouts would not be as time-efficient as
rearranging large, lightweight boxes of chips? Benjamin’s
time management skills were taking shape. Unfortunately,
no one knew.
Bored
Benjamins: Our homes and schools are filled with Benjamins; brilliant boys
and girls who are mentally unchallenged and bored beyond belief. To meet this generation’s insatiable appetite
for knowledge, we must change our focus and fortify our arsenal of parenting
/ teaching
skills. In fact, if we apply standard business management techniques to parenting,
many of the control issues parents face would be eliminated.
Consider
stewardship: According to Stephen R. Covey in his book The 7 Habits
of Highly Effective People (Simon & Schuster), there
are 2 different kinds of management philosophy or style: gofer delegation
and stewardship delegation.
In gofer delegation, management wants the
employee to do the task assigned, and only that task. Do this. When it is
complete, do that. Initiative is not welcome. Just compliance. The
benefit for the employer is that he can maintain total control. The downside for the
employer is that each employee's task must be followed up on, monitored, and approved.
This process is time consuming for the employer and boring for the employee. Benjamin's behavior was a product of gofer delegation.
In stewardship delegation, management
takes the time to train, teach, and guide each employee. The initial phase takes longer
but subsequently, each employee is on his own to do his job in its entirety. Stewardship delegation is focused on results, instead of method. It gives the
employee a choice of methods and makes him responsible for the result. Stewardship offers clear, up front, mutual understanding and commitment regarding
expectations. The employee becomes a contributing, innovative, responsible team
member. The downside for management is the initial training time and the need to
give up control by trusting and having confidence in the employee.
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Children want responsibility: Children want to feel important and needed . They want to be contributing members of the
family. By receiving real responsibility through training and clear expectations, a child will gain both confidence and experience in making quality decisions. It is important to note that a parent must not assign token tasks designed to keep the child busy. The child must be given real authority over
specific family needs. This evolving sense of stewardship will cause the child, when outside of the home, to thrive in circumstances requiring leadership - thereby illuminating the secret brilliance within.
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