| Talk to us,
more or less: During a visit to the emergency room, I overheard a
conversation between an ailing child and a physician. The good doctor was
trying to determine the cause of the child's discomfort. He asked, "Does it hurt more here or here? What about here? More or
less? Which hurts worse, here or here?" The conversation went on for a
while, exhausting the child, the gentle doctor, and me. The reason for the
communication challenge? Language. Abstract
verses concrete: Most young children do not understand the concepts of
"more or less" and "most or least" until first or second grade. These quantitative terms are abstract and require a developmental level young children
have not yet achieved. Therefore, when this emergency room child could not sort out
which hurt more and which hurt less, he became frustrated. When talking with a sick
child, our friends in the medical profession may want to avoid conceptual language and
revert to a more concrete vocabulary. When diagnosing pain, it may be more expedient
to ask questions such as: "Is this a big hurt or a little hurt? Is this hurt bigger
than this hurt? This small hurt, does it get bigger when I do this? ..."
He hasn't
done that since he was 3: When a child is sick, he will revert to an
earlier stage of development. His emotional/mental age will temporarily become less than
his chronological age. Insecurities and needs long since past will surface
again. The child may request a security blanket or other comfort item that may have
been put away long ago. The act of holding something soft can reassure a child like
no anxious adult can. Unfortunately, during an emergency situation, such comfort
toys are often inaccessible. Emergency room personnel may want to stock small stuffed
animals sewn by church groups. Is it worth the time? Read on ...
Twenty-five years ago,
I was in a critical care unit of a children's hospital when a 9 year old girl was brought
in. She had fallen out of the back of a speeding pick-up truck. Miraculously
no bones were broken but the look on her face and her rigid body showed that she was in
shock. So were her hysterical parents. I took a new stuffed
animal given to my own child and handed it to the child's mother. As the child
wrapped her arms around this rather large, soft animal, her shoulders relaxed and her eye
movement returned. How simple that in the midst of chaos, 16 inches of synthetic fur
comforted a troubled soul. |